We got the VA approval for the CAT scan and it has been scheduled for January 7!! Now, although this seems to be several weeks off, Michael is happy because it gets him through the holidays without having to face anymore tests should something be found when it is done....Bringing us boldly into another year of survival....February we will be beginning year 3! It has been a long road so far....sometimes very bumpy...other times a few detours...some surprises along the way...
But for now....we count our blessings that we are still venturing down the road of LIFE!
Happy Holidays to all....
May your LIFE travels bring you that much closer to the realization of all your dreams.
Get together...
We want to our first Holiday get together last night....Arriving at our destination around 6:30...thinking that we would make our appearance and stay for a short while.....BELIEVE it or NOT we did not arrive home till after 12:30!!! Time just flew by...we enjoyed good food...good laughs...good company!! And it was amazing that Michael tolerated it so well considering he is usually sound asleep by 9:00 every night....I felt NORMAL....I felt FESTIVE...I was GRATEFUL for the time with friends....and the NORMAL of the night....We have more to go to and I am hoping that they all go this well....Last year we were in such a medical state that we could not go anywhere really....So this was amazing....HAPPY...HAPPY...HAPPY today...
A bit tired....but HAPPY!
A bit tired....but HAPPY!
this is a great story....
An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a
pole which she carried across her neck.
One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do. After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream. 'I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.' The old woman smiled, 'Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?' 'That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them.' For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.' Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.
pole which she carried across her neck.
One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do. After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream. 'I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.' The old woman smiled, 'Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?' 'That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them.' For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.' Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.
still a little fearful!
So we took the little love to see Santa....He was still a little fearful of him and would not sit on his lap....but at least we got him to walk up to him this year!! LOL He wants a Ford Pick up Truck...the motorized kind that you ride....Cost: $360.00!!! Think he just might be in for his first big disappointment! We keep telling him that Santa doesn't make that many....and he says that's OK because they have them at Wal Mart....So then we said that they cost a lot of money...and he says that's OK because I can give him money from my bank...and Mommy's bank...and Daddy's bank...any your bank Moma....and even Papa's bank!! SMART KID!
Update...
Happy Holidays....A moment ago I realized that I have not given an update.....Must be all those lights flickering on and off! LOL..... We are still waiting for approval from the VA for the CAT scan....Michael's new teeth are being made and he will have a fitting for them on Wednesday!! (yeah!!)
Michael is hoping that the CAT scan is not scheduled till after Christmas (not my wish!) I can understand that he does not want any news to disrupt his holiday....So I will make NO effort now to get this process going faster than it will under normal red tape!
The holidays are approaching rapidly....I am making a list...checking it twice!! Deciding to take on all the invitations that come our way this year if only for a very short visit....It is hard to do this, but I am UP to it!! So festivities are being planned....the calendar is getting filled with parties and socializing....and the twinkle is in my heart and eyes!!
May it also be in yours!!
Do you?
Believe in signs?...Things that come your way to give you a message? That if you are aware of them they will show you things that perhaps you overlook...
I know people who think that things are just a coincidence...that nothing is connected to anything else...that things just unfold...or you make things happen....
I do not follow that theory....I believe in signs....I watch and listen...some signs smack me right upside the head...others have to come a series of times before I actually see them...actually hear the message....
And this has been the case this past weekend.....Signs ....Telling me to reach out....telling me to seek out something that I lost....showing me that perhaps now is the time to do that....Signs....I'm not sure why...but these signs have shown up in the past couple of years a little more....but the one that came across my life on Friday...was loud and clear....reaching my heart....and this is the coming year that I will do something about it....
Do you believe in signs???
I know people who think that things are just a coincidence...that nothing is connected to anything else...that things just unfold...or you make things happen....
I do not follow that theory....I believe in signs....I watch and listen...some signs smack me right upside the head...others have to come a series of times before I actually see them...actually hear the message....
And this has been the case this past weekend.....Signs ....Telling me to reach out....telling me to seek out something that I lost....showing me that perhaps now is the time to do that....Signs....I'm not sure why...but these signs have shown up in the past couple of years a little more....but the one that came across my life on Friday...was loud and clear....reaching my heart....and this is the coming year that I will do something about it....
Do you believe in signs???
Getting Ready....
I did a lot last night....moved furniture...dusted..vacuumed and cleaned...I would say this is nothing new...but....I am getting ready!! I put the tree up last night...lights on...and now I am waiting for the little love to come....TODAY we decorate!! Put on the carols...break out the eggnog...and get festive! Today...the season of Christmas begins here for us...and we will prepare to make it the best ever!!
We are still waiting for approval for the CAT scan from the VA...and the mind set is not to fret over when it will be or not be....but rather to just get ready....to bask in the warmth and the love of the holiday...
We are still waiting for approval for the CAT scan from the VA...and the mind set is not to fret over when it will be or not be....but rather to just get ready....to bask in the warmth and the love of the holiday...
Random morning thoughts....
So I was talking to a dear heart last night on this machine....we had a conversation about what we and anyone exposes of our self to the world....I mean, how many people REALLY know us?....
I am under the impression that you expose that what you are comfortable with to most people ...but there are a select few who know your heart....Here....I try very hard to expose my heart...to all who read it...but here are some random thoughts this morning that expose me just a little bit more....
I adjust...I am a survivor...I am a strong person (even in times of weakness)
my life has never been nor will it ever be based on what I have...or where I might be going next...for all of my adult life it has been based on the simplest of things
Perhaps to some that is a lack of ambition...not to want to be head of the class...top of the pole...leader of the pack....for me...it has worked...allowing me
to accept and enjoy the smallest of things in life...laughter...love...joy...things that money cannot buy...I have never been one to believe that my situations now or ever was SO BAD that I would not carry on (well maybe a couple times but only for moments in the big scheme of things) but rather I would take a hold of whatever was going on...face it head on...deal with it...and get on with it...
Find the best in whatever was happening...the lessons...and learn and grow...
I believe I have done that a few times in my life....and I know it has served me well....Some people strive for fame and fortune.... but fame and fortune is not high on the list for me...personal satisfaction...love...happiness...top of my list!
my life lessons have served me well to get through what I am going through now...this part of my life where although I am a caregiver I am not the person who is dealing with the struggles...The one thing that it is teaching me...a lesson that is coming through loud and clear is PATIENCE....something that needed to be worked on...and something that I hope I am working on....
I am under the impression that you expose that what you are comfortable with to most people ...but there are a select few who know your heart....Here....I try very hard to expose my heart...to all who read it...but here are some random thoughts this morning that expose me just a little bit more....
I adjust...I am a survivor...I am a strong person (even in times of weakness)
my life has never been nor will it ever be based on what I have...or where I might be going next...for all of my adult life it has been based on the simplest of things
Perhaps to some that is a lack of ambition...not to want to be head of the class...top of the pole...leader of the pack....for me...it has worked...allowing me
to accept and enjoy the smallest of things in life...laughter...love...joy...things that money cannot buy...I have never been one to believe that my situations now or ever was SO BAD that I would not carry on (well maybe a couple times but only for moments in the big scheme of things) but rather I would take a hold of whatever was going on...face it head on...deal with it...and get on with it...
Find the best in whatever was happening...the lessons...and learn and grow...
I believe I have done that a few times in my life....and I know it has served me well....Some people strive for fame and fortune.... but fame and fortune is not high on the list for me...personal satisfaction...love...happiness...top of my list!
my life lessons have served me well to get through what I am going through now...this part of my life where although I am a caregiver I am not the person who is dealing with the struggles...The one thing that it is teaching me...a lesson that is coming through loud and clear is PATIENCE....something that needed to be worked on...and something that I hope I am working on....
And then...
there was NO chemo today! There are just to many unanswered questions...to many symptoms that Michael is experiencing that he will now have to have a CAT scan done to see what is going on...He has a great deal of pain in his legs making it difficult for him to walk sometimes...there is the memory loss and confusion which we thought was chemo related , but are finding out that perhaps it is not....He has constant pain in his neck and shoulders....and trembling in his right hand....Some of this I knew....some of it was something I learned today....When the Doctor was checking his legs he only started to feel her movements around his knee area....
So now we have to wait to get approval from the VA to have the scan done....I am making phone calls today...and tomorrow to get this on the fast track.....
Life continues on!!
So now we have to wait to get approval from the VA to have the scan done....I am making phone calls today...and tomorrow to get this on the fast track.....
Life continues on!!
Chemo...
Michael's maintenance round of Chemo starts today...This morning so many questions are rolling around in my head that I had a difficult time sleeping last night...And although I am tired I am armed with my list of questions I would like answered if possible....
Wish us luck!
Wish us luck!
Time doesn't matter....
Last night I had the great pleasure of visiting with a friend from High School....A wonderful woman who I have not seen in perhaps 39 years...(she moved back to her native Greece in 1974)But time does not matter....
we laughed...we talked...we hugged...we kissed...we connected on levels that were past and present...It was an awakening of the heart...
Life sometimes gets in the way of simple pleasures...we pass over going out for staying in...we pass over bringing people into our private space out of fear...out of time...we pass over the things that perhaps are heart awakening for the routine of our day...we get stuck sometimes in the rut of doing things exactly as we have and forget to put our selves out there...
This reunion of friendship will now become part of my getting out....connecting with others to better myself...to see myself more clearly...to allow myself time to be the girl I once was and the woman I am now...
Yes...this reunion was an awakening of my heart....and my heart sings today because of it...
May you awaken your heart in some small way today!
Happy Thanksgiving....
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HAPPY THANKSGIVING....
As you go about your day, take a moment to reflect on what you are truly thankful for....Feel it deep within you...listen closely to your heart....
My wish this year is that I am aware of all the GOOD things that have happened to me this year.
To be surrounded by the love of family and friends and to smile and laugh with my heart...
To be grateful for ALL the time I have been able to spend with those I love....
To take the moments of joy and cherish them to the fullest...
Happy Day to all....
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