Living With My Shadow

BIG DAY!

We go for the CAT scan this morning....It is a BIG day....scared as heck....but getting in the car anyhow!! Holding on to good wishes!

This April we will be celebrating 25 years of marriage....YES....we have beaten the stats!! (especially considering that we had both been married before) As I sit here this morning I am remembering....remembering the moment that love appeared.....We were out on a date (remember those...when boys called girls up and asked them out and picked up the tab!!) and we had gone to a restaurant in the very artsy section of town that overlooks the river....after dinner we walked on the bridge that crosses the river....there was a moment while walking when he took me in his arms....and started slow dancing with me right on that bridge....while singing "Light of my Life"
Now how was he to know that, that very song was a favorite of mine?!! Because when I was a little girl my Father use to sing it to me...and my Father also gave me a music box that played that tune (which has long since disappeared much to my dismay)....How was he to know? How was he to know how much that could of possibly touched my heart?
And thru the ups and the downs....the ins and the outs of these 25 years (actually we have been together 27) he still tells me every day that I am the Light of his Life.....
Today I remember that moment that love entered my heart....

Waiting....

This week is creeping by...probably because every day since New Years day I have thought it was Sunday! LOL....Holidays do that to me....confuse my pattern of days! So here we wait for Thursday, to have the CAT scan done....I am trying to stay in the moment of NOW....not venturing ahead...not thinking of what the outcome may or may not be....Sometimes this is easier said than done....but I am certainly giving it a good try....So I manage to stay busy, as I wait. The decorations put safely in the boxes for next year...bills paid for the month....groceries boughten as I try to eat healthier...Doing things that keep my mind busy....But here it is only Tuesday...and I'm running out of things to do!! LOL....

There are days...

When Michael can barely get out of his chair without slumping over...the pain in his legs hurts so much. I watch as he struggles with the ordinary of tasks....He insists that he has certain things that he alone must do...unloading the dishwasher...vacuuming the rug...making a bed...And although none of these things take a great deal of talent or time...they zap him of energy. I have tried (unsuccessfully) to say that I would do them....but it is a part that he feels he can play in the running of this house...everything else defaults to me....Don't get me wrong...I am grateful for the things that he does...I am happy that he is still able to do them...I struggle some days with myself when I get a little upset because some things have to be redone...so why not just let me do them in the first place....and then I have days like today, when I remember that HE has to have these things...HE has to be important and feel productive.....HE has to be a part of this and it DOES take some pressure off of me....
And then I remember, that even if it is not done perfectly it just doesn't matter!

Answering the Questions....New Years Day!

Question 1

What are some games or activities you like to do that you find challenging and fun? (Resilience)

1. play in my studio (at least when it is not so messy)

2. try new projects....making dolls...new art supplies

3. going to galleries and art openings

4. trying to do several things in one day!

Question 2

What are some games or activities you like to do that make you laugh? (Emotion Awareness)

1. singing!

2. dancing!

3. talking with friends

4. brain storming

Question 3

What are some new things you've been wanting to try? (Goal Setting)

1. learning a foreign language (maybe French for that trip to Paris!)

2. learning how to use Fimo

3. making jewelry

Question 4

What are some things you can do that leverage your strengths and skills? (Empowerment)

1. say NO when I mean NO

2. stay true to my spirit

3. laugh more in the face of adversity

4. not let things (little) get to me so much

Question 5

What are some things you can do that are fun and will make someone else happy? (Optimism)

1. give things away for no reason...pieces of art...random acts of kindness

2. call my mother more often

3. bake for someone else

4. share myself more freely with others without candy coating

joy...
passion...
creativity...
power...
wisdom...
love...
life.

Today, is a day of giving thanks to 2009....
for the joy it has brought my way...awakenings that have stirred within me....dreams that have danced in front of me....love that is abundant...and my life.
Today, is a day of giving thanks to 2009...
for the passion that I have found...creativity that has flowed....and wonderment that has been brought to my attention.
Today, is a day of giving thanks to 2009...
for the strength I found deep within...for the power that strength has brought me...and for the wisdom that strength has provided me.
Today, is a day of giving thanks to 2009...
for intentions that were followed through...for moments of true clarity...for the gratitude my heart feels.
As I leave this year behind me my heart is full...my thoughts are clearer...This year goes out with a new moon....a new BLUE moon...reminding me to be ever present in the now....as this new year only comes around once!
Artfully Yours,
Pattie

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

This is the final post I did for my affirmation journal....but I thought I would share it here too...
Tomorrow I will do my list for the new year....from the questions that I found several posts below this one....I will also tie up my 2009 journal with a ribbon and place it away for safe keeping and begin a new journal with the WORD I pick for the year....and I am starting a gratitude journal again this year....5 THINGS I LOVE ABOUT TODAY! and will design that cover...all in all this year with all its ups and downs has had far more GOOD things in it than bad...
May you head into 2010 with a song in your heart...laughter on your lips and love surrounding you....Blessings and HAPPY NEW YEAR to all who come here....

Happy New Year!

Glitterfy.com - Glitter Graphics

Oh how sick we are...

The holidays are coming to an end....and we are very ill here! Could it be the flu? Could it be food poisoning? Not sure....but the whole family is down with it.....Don't CATCH IT....it is very nasty!
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL.....

Merry Christmas!

“What is Christmas? It is tenderness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the future. It is a fervent wish that every cup may overflow with blessings rich and eternal, and that every path may lead to peace.”
— Agnes M. Pharo

To all a very Merry Christmas....may your day be filled with love and laughter...making new memories and cherishing old.....

Just what I wanted!

We had our celebration for Christmas yesterday...Yes! I know it is not really Christmas day, but I like to be surrounded by my family for the whole day when I celebrate and not have to run off to here and there and everywhere....Christmas day, now that I am older I like to go to spend time with the extended family and watch them....it is just more tranquil for me!! LOL
Anyhow, the wonderment of a 4 (almost 5) year old opening gifts.....Saying....I think that one has my name on it....Yes...COLLIN.....says COLLIN.....opening the gift....exclaiming....IT IS JUST WHAT I WANTED!!! LOL....To almost every gift....well...accept for the clothing....LOL....
What a joyous day!!
This morning we recorded the Night Before Christmas....Hallmark came out with a book that you can record yourself reading it...Michael and I took turns reading the pages!! Now Collin will always have our voices!! Can't wait to see his face when he hears this.....I think he will be amazed and wonder how we got in the book!! LOL
May your holiday be filled with amazement!!
Because this day was JUST WHAT I WANTED!

Whril Wind....

It has been a weekend of whirl wind partying!! Festive and bright! We have gathered with friends for great conversations...fabulous food and drinks in the decorative homes of friends...We have been surrounded by friends of old and making new ones...What a wonderful time sharing stories...of travel ...of children and grandchildren...of new births...and even of those passing...We were among other Veterans who are going through their own health trials...we talked to WWII veterans...we celebrated young veterans coming home from overseas....
So I pause this morning....and give thanks for being able to once again be surrounded by all this love....I give thanks for my family...my friends...my good life....I pause and I reflect on how far I have ventured with both my professional and my personal life this year....The precious love of a child who adores us...and who is close enough so I get to see him every week...The happiness that is right in front of me that I sometimes over look...
This holiday season that is before me, is allowing me to be more aware of what it is that is most important in my life....sometimes it just takes a word...a thought...a gentle touch from a love one or even a stranger to open up your heart and let everything pour in...
Wishing all the happiness and love of this season....
Open your heart and let it all pour in!

Getting ready for...

The beginning of a New Year!! I rarely make New Year's Resolutions....because I have found in the past that I usually don't keep them for very long! It has been said that it takes 21 days to form a new habit....Not sure if it holds true that it takes 21 days to break an old habit however!! LOL...
But I ran across some questions on a kids site that I go to that made me go HUMMMM...this is something positive....(because I have found that most resolutions have to do with some negative side of myself!) On the 1st of January I will make my list.....Here are the questions...