One day just melts into another...into another...into another....and then before you know it weeks have gone by and you are still standing in the exact same spot???????
I was reminded yesterday, that I have been silent here....Causing me to wonder where have the 13 days of this month gone already....Always the series of Doctors' appointments weekly...always the regular mundane chores that have to be done...always a matter of balance....I think I have been mentally checking out...dropping one plate or two...trying to focus on different things....happier things...things that cause me to feel alive...
I will confess that I have been letting go of some of my own "bad habits"!! (Yes...I know it is hard to believe that I might have them!! LOL....but trust me I DO!!) and I will now share that I am on week 3 of NOT SMOKING! (again, a hard thing to even admit that I do! Or should I say DID!!) But today, I feel good...I feel human....I feel normal....I feel full of inspiration....and finally today, I know that it is MONDAY
it is the 13th of JULY....my name is PATRICIA....I am determined....I am strong....and I am full of inspiration!!
rambles from the shadow side of life...About living...about living with dying....This is where my heart will pour forth...this is where my shadow will be exposed...this is where I will cry...where I will laugh...where I will become one with that shadow of life...
7 comments:
Twenty Three Cheers for Pattie!!!!!!
Congratulations on your new path of being smoke free!!! I have missed your beautiful words.......
Love You,
bb
WOOHOO !!!
YOU ROCK !!!!
WAY TO GO !!!
KEEP IT UP, YOU'LL BE AMAZED HOW GOOD YOU FEEL PHYSICALLY AND HOW PROUD YOU'LL BE OF YOURSELF.
P.S. I quit smoking (for the 2nd time - a slow learner!) 19 years ago. I'm still patting myself on the back for that one. One of my greatest successes.
P.S.S. Where do the days go? How can it already be almost half-way through July. I'm anticipating the first Christmas advertisements any day now.
Pattie, I've missed you Thanks for posting so we can hear your voice and know you're flourishing. Your spirit is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing so honestly--and congatulations!!!
Love, Linda Bannan
Yay!! Congratulations! I'm so glad you are taking care of yourself. Keep it up, it will be so worth it! Make sure you take a few moments out of each day, just for you.
Sending warm hugs and positive thoughts your way,
Deb
Dear Pattie:
I thought I would be forever walking down the street asking strangers: "Hey, Buddy do you have a patch?"
I wore it for over 4 months. I used to say to Ray, "Quick, turn on the news maybe they've reported that smoking is REALLY GOOOD FOR YOU".
Finally, I was able to give it up, but still saddled up to a smoker so I could inhale deeply.
Now over 10 years later I can't believe how long I smoked and I know it wouldn't take long to fall off the wagon completely again.
Hang in there, I still am convinced it's one of the best, and yet the hardest, things I ever did.
YOU CAN DO THIS.
To Pat Dalke
Amen, sister. I think the reason it feels so good to kick the habit is because it is so hard to do.
Keep up the good work, Pattie.
Dear Pattie:
"Dropping out" can be a good thing, being on overload can sometimes cause that. I do hear you when you say that you still have the doctor appointments, etc., but going through that in "rote" mode can get you through it...
In thinking back over the time with Dan, there were times when we definitely had to keep moving, but there were times when things were not so crucial (thank God) and I watched Law & Order marathons until I was brain dead. I figured out why Law & Order was so appealing, it was because within an hour there was a conclusion and it was "just".
Here's to being "brain dead" once in awhile. It seems to get you through.
Here's to making it, at least for another day.
I'm holding you in the light.
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