I have been out of town helping my friend as she handles the news that her husband
has Stage 4 colon/liver cancer...it was so difficult, knowing all that I know that is in store for her...knowing that there is only so much that I can do to help her and that the journey is an emotional one...It hit me...it ripped at my already torn heart...
So I took care of her overgrown garden while she went to the hospital...I made sure that she ate meals...I talked with her till the wee hours of the morning...I held her hand...I hugged her...I told her that I loved her...
Her husband has been my friend since the 5th grade...he was 2 years older than me and I would see his handsome face walking through the halls in the grammar school thinking as little girls do...OH...HOW CUTE IS HE! But, we actually became friends in church, taking a youth class on Sunday evenings eating tuna fish sandwiches...we could talk to each other...he teased me..(he still does!) We went to proms together because we could be ourselves without putting on some sort of formal attitudes with our formal wear! We are friends...and he introduced me to his wife some 42 years ago...and we are friends...
When Michael was diagnosed in 2008, he and I were shopping one day and we found a necklace with the universal symbol for gratitude...written around the spiral were the words...YOU HAVE ALL THE STRENGTH THAT YOU NEED INSIDE...I have worn this necklace since that day he put it on me...This year for Valentine's Day he presented me with a locket...when you open it there is a working compass inside...This was his answer to my question..."What am I going to do without you?"..."you will find your direction" the card read ...and I placed the spiral on the new chain with the compass and he placed it around my neck...Wednesday morning I asked my friend if she had a silver chain...she found one...and I slid off the spiral from my chain and placed it on hers and then around her neck...we sat on the floor of her bedroom and cried in each others arms...
I know I have all the strength that I need inside...I have proven it to myself over and over during these 3 1/2 years that necklace served me well...Now she needs to know it...I hope the necklace serves as a reminder as she sits waiting for treatments to be done...while she fiddles with that spiral around her neck and holds on to her strength...
BE WELL.
rambles from the shadow side of life...About living...about living with dying....This is where my heart will pour forth...this is where my shadow will be exposed...this is where I will cry...where I will laugh...where I will become one with that shadow of life...
2 comments:
Patti,
I am bowing down to your strength and compassion. I can only imagine how hard it was for you to hear the news about your friend(s), yet you knew just what to do, what they needed from a friend. Weird as it seems that is one of the blessings isn't it. To be able to reach out, to lend a shoulder, to say, "I know" and when to be silent. I'm touched that you gifted your necklace. Bless you.
I also find it beautiful how this post flows into the previous one. How life is about ebb and flow. How we give when we can and accept the gift when it is our turn.
Sending smiles and hugs. Thank you for sharing your stained glass heart with others.
i just cried and cried when i read this.......i love you.
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