I returned home from the Celebration of Life for my friend Marc, and I was compiled to revisit my oldest journals from the 70's! One of the reasons was because I had the opportunity to view some of his writings while I was in Baltimore...and what a wonderful mind he had...and I wanted to see where my mind was back then...
To my surprise I was wise then...I was searching my soul just as I am now...I was perhaps a bit "pollyanneish" but then what 18 year old is not...Like now, I wrote from the now I wrote a bit of now I was searching for answers to my hearts questions...So discovering that it is a process of life...never changing but always evolving...
I ran across a letter written to me with the following poem...and it strikes me loud and clear now as an adult where as a child I did not see the fullness of it...I wish in some ways I had, and wonder how my life would of been different (but then I would not be the person I am today, with all the colors of the tapestry of my life, and I would not change that now) But I share this with you today...because the truth of it is powerful for me at the moment...

I felt like climbing mountains
or using my sunbeam lasso to
herd the sweet dew together and
present it to you on this your unbirthday.

But I have found that you'r gone
when I needed and wanted to
see you the most.
I had licked my old wounds
and they had healed slowly
but I was well and perhaps a
new and better person.

Now I have nothing and the
dew is rapidly turning salty.

It's not in my power to bring
you back
But if it were I would snap
my fingers or rub the magic lamp
and you would be beside me
in golden flesh instead of nothing dreams.
And another snap of the fingers
and we would come close together
until we were one.


1 comment:

Merry ME said...

Oh my! Interesting isn't it how youth's naivete can be an adult's wisdom. Certainly a poem would be lost on most 18 year olds. But how it resonates with truth today.

My journals are from my 30's - my blue period. I wonder what I'd find there now. Perhaps they are better left locked up for my children's children to toss away long after I'm gone.