So I have had a very difficult weekend...I've been short tempered...snappy...mad...distant...quiet...unsettled...
just to name a few....So what emotion is it anyhow? As I watch a brick fall here and a brick fall there tumbling around me...I am very keenly aware of the wall I have built around myself especially strong in the past few years...and as it starts to crumble....I am also very aware that the emotion I have been hiding from is SADNESS...pure sadness that Michael is going through this...
WOW! I actually admitted that to myself ...Sort of makes me feel really vulnerable...but also makes me feel very honest...
BE WELL
rambles from the shadow side of life...About living...about living with dying....This is where my heart will pour forth...this is where my shadow will be exposed...this is where I will cry...where I will laugh...where I will become one with that shadow of life...
2 comments:
Patricia....my thoughts & prayers R with U. Hugs.
Patty,
I've been absent from the blogosphere but thoughts of you and Michael flit through my consciousness at the oddest times. I KNOW what you mean and am proud of you for having the courage to name your fear. Please don't be afraid to be sad for yourself. It seems selfish right not to think of yourself when Michael is the focal point of your day to day living. For me, it almost felt disloyal to feel tempered, snappy, mad, distant, unsettled, and sad. How could I? How could I not.
My heart is all cracked and open these days. I'm feeling way more than I thought possible. I am with you sister on this walk. I offer my hand to hold, my shoulder to cry on and my prayers for your continued strength and courage.
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