I made the call early this morning...and into the Doctors office we went....The Nurses had Michael's chair
all ready for him....the chair in the corner...where he can see everyone coming and going...out of the way of all the commotion that goes on there...two blankets and a pillow... Blood was drawn...and his platelet counts were now dangerously low...a low normal is 130....he measured 3...So platelets were ordered and it was going to take a while...which really didn't matter as we were going to be there for 2 to 3 hours anyhow because they were giving him IV fluids...
The Doctor talked to Michael and made it very clear to him that everything that they are doing now is to just keep him alive....He again said that he was willing to continue doing this even if it meant that he came to the office every day of the week to get transfusions and fluid...whatever gave him another day...
I sit....I watch him sleep...I read a book....sometimes I read the same line a dozen or so times....I don't leave him there anymore and go about doing errands...I don't know why that is...but all of a sudden I am not comfortable doing that...So I stay there 2 hours...5 hours...whatever...sitting in a chair ...next to the chair in the corner...getting him water or plumping up the pillow...
It has been a long week (the only day we were not in the office was Wednesday)....we are scheduled to go again tomorrow to hopefully get him through the weekend and then he has an appointment for Monday...they cannot give him chemo unless his counts are up...so hopefully all these booster shots that he is getting will help...
I was talking to a dear heart today...who lost her husband not to long ago...we laughed...we shed a tear or two together...but kindred spirits are we...and I know when I need someone she will be there with her open heart...and arms....healing.
Someone asked me how I did this...(got through each day)...and I said...Well, I could sit around and cry in my beer....but you know, I would rather drink it!
Raise a glass to someone today!
BE WELL
rambles from the shadow side of life...About living...about living with dying....This is where my heart will pour forth...this is where my shadow will be exposed...this is where I will cry...where I will laugh...where I will become one with that shadow of life...
5 comments:
I'm raising a glass with U. My prayers R with U and yours. I think of the 2 of U quite often and am always looking for word as to how U R doing. Hugs, hugs, & hugs.
Raising a glass and a prayer.
Surrounding you in love.
sending you love.....
i follow every post, girl.
and wonder how many times i can tell you that i'm sending you love and holding you guys close....
but i am.
i so so so am.
Patty, although I haven't left any comments in many months, I continue to read each of your posts and continue to pray for Michael and for you. You are one incredibly brave woman and it's obvious that Michael is a much loved man. I hope that you find peace and some comfort in all of the warm thoughts that are being sent your way. I know how hard it is to be the caregiver and to continue to 'hold it all together', you are doing a wonderful job. I am raising my glass to you, today!
Warm hugs,
Deb
Praying that the week ahead will be full of sunshine and smiles for you and MIchael.
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