Taking Care of Myself...

As this part of my life unfolds...so many people have asked: ARE YOU TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF?...Well...how does one answer that question?...Do I get up every day? Do I remember to brush my teeth...comb my hair...shower ...shave and s#!%?...Do I remember to eat? To sleep? On a good day I do remember to do all of those!!! But do they mean...do I remember to honor myself as a person? Do I give myself time off for good behavior? Do I spend time with myself doing my creative work? To that I must truthfully answer No I do not....I try...some days I actually succeed at it (take yesterday...I actually went to the movies as a gift of 2 hours out of the house with my sister)
Mostly I am finding that I am giving up...giving away...the things that mean the most to me...WHY? Why am I doing that? Because it doesn't seem somehow right that I should have some happiness in my life? That because my good husband can't do the things that he use to love that I should play the martyr and deny myself the things that are important to sustain me? That I should sit on the sofa and watch him as he sleeps? Making sure he is breathing properly...
I do not believe that I am the only person who does this....But WHY??? Why would I give up all the most important things...the things that bring me happiness...the things that feed my soul...
the things that allow me to LIVE LIFE FULLY...Why do I feel guilty for not being sick?
Who does this help??? It certainly does not help me to be strong...to believe...to love better...to hold on tighter....So today, I pull out the drawing pad...I pull out the paint...and I start to do a project that has been in the virtual making....Today....I am taking care of myself...at least for a little while...without ANY GUILT!! (at least that is what I am telling myself at this moment!!)

2 comments:

Barb said...

You are one of the few people I know who is truly in touch with her inner self. So I feel that you will know best what to do for your self.

Hugs to you and your husband.

Goddess Diana said...

Go Goddess!!! Go Goddess!!!

Thank you for setting an example.

Wishing you,
Peace & Love, Just Because,
Goddess Diana