Back to the Dentist today....they work on him for about an hour each time....things are improving...slowly....slowly....slowly....and we have to go back on Friday....The Dentist says that he is improving...but certainly not as well as expected nor as timely as expected....but improving none the less....Not sure how much longer we will have to go before the stitches can be taken out. And hopefully the blood thinners will be regulated soon so these shots in this stomach can be stopped.
They are not fun for either of us....
I am feeling a bit overwhelmed again today...realizing that perhaps my depression level has been altered...I can usually pull myself up and out of these fairly easily (having once suffered from both depression and anxiety attacks and no longer on any medications for these) but this one is harder to shake....My hair stylist noticed that I also have signs of my Aleopecia returning....For those who do not know what this is....your hair falls out in round spots...7 years ago I completely lost all my hair to Aleopecia (and I do MEAN ALL MY HAIR on my entire body!)....and it took some 3 years to actually come back (which surprised the Doctor)
I had grown accustomed to NOT having hair...and to NOT wearing a wig when I started sprouting hair....and now the thoughts of this happening again causes me some discomfort. I know I am NOT defined by my hair....but I was getting comfortable with having it! A lot of what they believe about Alopecia is that it is caused by stress.....GO FIGURE!
Think I just might need a BIG NAP today!
rambles from the shadow side of life...About living...about living with dying....This is where my heart will pour forth...this is where my shadow will be exposed...this is where I will cry...where I will laugh...where I will become one with that shadow of life...
2 comments:
S-T-R-E-S-S I'm screaming here, as if on Jeopardy fighting to be the first to answer the question. I know nothing about aleopecia but a lot about depression. I can't believe you are going through everything you describe and NOT on some kind of medication.
You've probably heard this a kazillion times before but I'll say it once more. As a caregiver you need to remember to take care of yourself first. Since the hospice nurse and social worker just left here I find myself both giving the "caretaking" lecture and saying, "yeh but" at the same time. How weird is that?
I hope you get that nap, that it is restful and restorative. I'm so tired right now I feel like I could sleep for a century. What the world would look like when I woke up! What would I have missed?
Sending good vibrations to you and to your husband.
Dear Pattie:
Are there folks nearby that you can call on to help shoulder some of the responsibility, if only for a while? Do you know a friend or neighbor who is a nurse that may be willing to give the Lovenox shots once in awhile? What about home health care? I do remember your experience with that when learning to give an IV infusion at home...not real helpful. Maybe it would be different with the shots???
Do you have access to a swimming pool...a YMCA nearby or the park district? I don't swim, but the senior arthritis classes in the pool clinging to a big fat noodle and kicking along in the water could be a release. Exercise releases all those good endorphins (sp?)that travel to the brain and reduce pain and stress.
Have you seen reports on the news about classes on laughing to help patients suffering from the pain and stress of disease? Has proven to be very effective! Funny movies helped Dan.
Talking to someone that can listen to all you are going through, could help.
I'm just rattling off things I am sure that you know and have considered.
Meanwhile you and Michael are in my thoughts and prayers each day.
I really liked your stories of gardening and I love the idea of your solar lights. Lemonade and the swing are wonderful ways to escape for awhile.
You are not alone...hang in there.
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