The beginning of another week....
Monday...it use to be when I was working that I disliked Monday because it meant that the weekend was over and it was back to the grind stone...but then when I started doing my art out of my home studio...I never knew when Monday was!! Because I could paint and create to my hearts content...any day of the week...every day of the week....no time card to punch...of course no steady paycheck...but I learned to make due with that...(it is funny when we finally realize how little it is that we need to make us happy!!) But now...Monday means we go for blood work...Monday tells me what the week will be like...Monday is becoming one of my least favorite days!!! Today, we went for blood work and Michael's white count and red count were very low....(I sort of figured that out myself over the weekend when he was sleeping some 16 hours a day) So tomorrow we will go back to the Doctors for a blood transfusion....He has to have a certain type of anti-body in the blood that they use to transfuse him and they have to find it as it is not something that they have at the blood bank and it gets transferred ASAP so that is is there in the morning....We have been lucky that they have been able to find it locally lately....So 2 more hours tomorrow is on the list...They will tell us the protein count tomorrow also...and they were preparing us today for the blood washings...(which again I figured would happen because the protein levels only looked "decent" last Wednesday...and I think the Doctor wanted to let him have the holiday without having to go in the hospital for the washings as the office would of been closed) So, tomorrow will tell me more....but I am seeing a pattern that is emerging....So far these chemo treatments have NOT touched the problem...they are not slowing down the process... nothing is really changing accept that we go to the Doctors now 1...2...3....sometimes 5 times a week....I am not complaining....if it gets him through another day than that is what is keeping him alive....then I will take it!! I will drive there and sit for the hours that the process takes and I will read my good book....I will sketch or draw...stitch or just sit...either way it gives me another day....
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2 comments:
Patti;
You are not alone on Mondays, yes, I've felt how they have taken on new meaning, it's always the day for blood tests and waiting to see what comes next. I don't think it's my imagination that this year, 2008, the waiting rooms on Mondays seem fuller, actually most of the time to capacity. it's strange that I welcome Thursdays when there aren't nearly as many folks.
Dan's PA recently said that when he was first diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma in December of 2005 at the age of 38 he was the youngest patient at Emory with the disease, but now, tragically, they have even younger patients and more of them.
Yesterday Dan insisted on going to a friend and fellow teacher's home to see her as she battles cancer too. I noticed years ago during treatment that their is a special bond and unspoken understanding between the people being treated. Dan said the other day, "mom did you see that lady that had to lay down in the waiting room; I know how she feels". He has also said he sees the fear on the faces of people that have just been diagnosed and are entering this separate "other world", a world that takes place right in the midst of the "normal" world, but can feel so removed.
I feel that I am in the presence of many heros... and I sometimes feel that some of it has rubbed off on me.
You and Michael are in my thoughts at least once during the day and I am grateful for your sharing of your feelings, it gives me new clarity.
Pat Dalke
I think about you and Dan all the time Pat...And I know what you mean about the office...It is always filled...We have met so many wonderful people at the office...all living with this disease in one phase or another...All ages...and I too know exactly what you mean about heroes...I am humbled in their presence...
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