changing face...

Today was the first day I noticed it....the "moon" look to Michael's face from the prednisone. Perhaps it has been coming, but today I noticed it...the changes...the sunken eyes...the swollen face...the signs....Perhaps it was because he walked up the stairs and then had to sit down in order to stop being dizzy....Things are changing....I notice them more today....He doesn't like to leave the chair as much anymore....For the past 2 nights he has actually slept all night in the NEW CHAIR that reclines to a flat surface like a bed...I am almost sorry (for myself) that we got that chair! Today, I notice....I am aware....Some days it is almost as if I forget...things seem so normal...doing the every day things that most people do...some mundane...some just plain fun...like a drive in the country and the first grilled hot dog of the season! Days when I am so excited about what I am creating (I have been on a huge creative roll with the reawakening of Spring) that I over look things because I am so self absorbed... But today....today I notice the signs of illness...and they are very apparent....Today, I will take more time to be gentle with him....and gentle with myself....Hopefully we will get the results of the bone marrow biopsy tomorrow....perhaps this is a day of awakening to the reality we will face tomorrow....But I get ahead of myself....Today is the ONLY day that matters!