Another day...

Again it was another emotional day...thank the good lord I have a very good friend who works for Hospice and was by my side when Michael's hospice nurse came....because another thing has been added to my plate of flushing his pick line EVERY DAY!  Why not just push me off the edge!!!!  But, my friend stepped in and said she would be here to do that for me....as it stands at the moment he will probably not be getting the IV fluid as his feet and hands are beginning to swell which means he is retaining fluid...his kidneys are slowly shutting down as is his liver (he is getting very yellow)

At moments he is so talkative that it almost appears like a normal day...and right in mid sentence he just zones completely out or he falls asleep...he repeats himself a lot and gets a bit testy if you ask him a question that he thinks he has already answered...you have to remember NOT to take it personally....it is the combination of drugs and the lymphoma taking him from me....

I read a book within the last 24 hours: From Hiccups to Hospice by Betty Garrett, this is probably the most information I have received in an honest and direct form from a caregivers view...and it has brought me peace in a great many ways along with information I needed to have that no one seems to want to give to me...
One of the things that is in the book is a list of things you can do for the caregiver instead of asking them what it is that they would like you to do....when this question of : What can I do for you? is presented to me, I always say...I can't think of anything....but this list that Betty has takes the guess work out of what someone can do for a caregiver that they might not think of....

1. Sit with them
2. Bring some groceries for them
3. Cook meals that you can freeze and bring to them
4. Send cards and notes to say HELLO...thinking of YOU...
5. Give them gift cards
6. Send them a pizza
7.Offer to call friends or family members to give them updates
8. Send a fruit basket or fresh flowers
9. Talk about some UPBEAT things
10. Send a book or magazine to them...GIVE THEM BETTY"S BOOK!!!!!!!(if the patient is terminal)

These are just a few...but they are things one can do without asking the caregiver...What can I do for you?
For all who venture here....thank you for not asking....and for just doing!  You all have given me so much less to think about....Blessings!
BE WELL...
 

3 comments:

Merry ME said...

This is the kind of information we all need BEFORE we go into caregiving. Of course, we have no idea we're going to need it! Thank goodness for books. I'm toying with the idea of writing my own. Are you? But I'm stuck right now on the book I want to right about grieving. Wish I could hurry up and get to the stage where I can write a book about the next phase. Probably everyone in our place wants to write a book. I'm glad so many have.

I'm on my way to the post office with a little something. Not quite from the list but close!

Joani said...

I'm so glad U were able to read the book. I'm so glad that U have a friend who will be able to step in for some of these things. U R being watched over. Luv, hugs, & prayers.

Diane said...

I came to this blog after I went to From the Inside Out (Art Journaling magazine). I thank you for sharing your experience with us. I have a sister in law who is terminally ill with colon cancer. I've never been through this experience with someone I am close to. Your blog is helping to prepare me. God Bless you and Michael.