It was a long day....
Hospice came and re-evaluated Michael and he is now signed up for Enriched Care...which means if he is strong
enough to go into the clinic he can get his blood and platelet transfusions....if he is not able to do that than hospice can come and give him IV fluids ONLY....but here is the kicker!! Guess who has to learn to set up the IV...flush the pick line...administer the fluids and flush the pick line again....OH GO AHEAD TAKE A WILD GUESS!!!!!!!!!
That's right....you win the jackpot...that would be little ole ME! Can you tell that I am thrilled beyond belief that I get to do this...that I get to have one more thing on my plate to be responsible for....I thought that is what hospice was for....but NO....when you decide to pass away at home....it goes to the caregiver as a responsibility...
BUT they will teach me how to do it...now mind you they will bring someone in to bathe him (which is something I can actually do) but they would leave a medical procedure for me to do....Now really...does that make sense??????
Can you tell I am thrilled???
I know I have gone through this before with not wanting to give him shots in the stomach but learning how to do it...and I handled that...but I never did like it....and I will get through this also, but I am tired...I am upset...
I am somewhat depressed (I admit that!) and they are handing this to me on top of all of it...PHEW!
It made me think of all the other care givers who have to do this....especially older than me caregivers...my heart goes out to them...
Things will look better in the morning...
BE WELL
rambles from the shadow side of life...About living...about living with dying....This is where my heart will pour forth...this is where my shadow will be exposed...this is where I will cry...where I will laugh...where I will become one with that shadow of life...
Same Words...Different Blog
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From Charlie
3 comments:
I can't believe you have been handed this task. I can't believe it. I always want to sing the praises of Hospice. But really, they can sometimes be more hurt than help. Perhaps in a good way it gives you a place to direct your anger.
I totally agree with what you say about caregivers. It is a hard job that you have to learn day by day. Statistics say many caregivers are in worse shape than their patients. Try to take care of yourself. Easier said than done.
Wish I could bring you a cup of tea and a chocolate covered donut, or the pastry of your choice. Hang in there.
this is actually a really helpful post in just that i had no idea it was set up like this. it doesn't seem right at all. and it's good to hear your anger. i'm right there with ya.
and i'm sorry. i know you'll do it cause you have to and you love him. just wish i could change it for you...
The alternative is NOT do it. What about Home Health....they cannot assist U either...probably not after U R in Hospice. It's just ridiculous. I know U can do it and I know that it is a pain in the behind but somehow we get thru these things. My love & hugs and also my prayers.
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