Got a phone call yesterday and Michael's red blood cell count is much to low....Off to have blood
work done this morning....going to type cross his blood type...transfusion tomorrow AM....
hopefully this will give him more energy and concentration....Fingers crossed! Football games
to attend in the next 2 Sundays!!!!!!!!!
BE WELL
half full...or ...half empty?
I have been thinking about this a great deal over the past several days.....Is the glass half full....or is it half empty....I don't know why but during stressful
times I tend to think of the glass being half empty...maybe because things are slipping away...maybe because
things are changing it gives me the feeling of taking away from....thus....half empty. But really what a negative way of thinking....there is so much more of that glass to go...and you could actually try to fill it back up rather than taking more away from it....You could embrace the change and look at it as an opportunity to add to your life...to show you things with different eyes...to react in a different way....
SO....Is the glass half full....or is it half empty???????????
Today, I start to look at it from a different perspective....and I am finding it is definitely....
HALF FULL!!!!!!!!!!!
What to do with Lemons....
Today this mandala came to me...as I drew and painted, it reminded me of lemons...It also reminded me of two different quotes..."when life hands you lemons....make lemonaid" (Unknown) and "People are just about a happy as they make up their minds to be."(Abraham Lincoln) Lately I have been handed a fair amount of lemons... And as far as happiness...well...I know that resides within me...I am the one who is responsible for that...I don't want to put that responsibility in the hands of anyone but me!! Only I can put my happiness first. There are times when we are affected by what is going on in someone else's life that makes us put our happiness aside...but we are of little use to our self or anyone else when we do not find things to be happy about...we have to allow our happiness for something to ripple out around us. Happiness even during times when you are handed lemons is not always the easiest thing to find ...but it is really the most necessary thing to acknowledge...a bird singing...a squirrel gathering a nut...the sun shining...old memories...new memories...the goodness of our life...things that cause great laughter. Consider what your life is like when you feel happy....and what it is like when you are not...which do you prefer? I am willing to go and make a Margarita (just seems like it might hit the spot!!) out of my lemons today and look for rays of happiness everywhere I can find them....Care to join me?
Artfully Yours,
Pattie
PS: Do you want a glass of Lemon aide or a Margarita today with your side order of happiness?!
Softly...
I am consiously being soft lately...soft spoken...walking softly...aware of not being harsh...not being negative...
not being rough in any way...I am consious of being soft...Michael had an EKG this morning...(to see about the pleurisy) tomorrow is blood work (to try to get his coumadin regulated) and Wednesday we have a day off...
Thursday is the meeting with the specialists....So I am consious to be soft...to not let anything enter my mind...to just enjoy the day...to laugh more...to smile more...to love more...That is what my plans for the week are....
May yours be the same...
BE WELL
not being rough in any way...I am consious of being soft...Michael had an EKG this morning...(to see about the pleurisy) tomorrow is blood work (to try to get his coumadin regulated) and Wednesday we have a day off...
Thursday is the meeting with the specialists....So I am consious to be soft...to not let anything enter my mind...to just enjoy the day...to laugh more...to smile more...to love more...That is what my plans for the week are....
May yours be the same...
BE WELL
BE HAPPY!
How could this not make you HAPPY!
THANK YOU MARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Both...
of us feeling better today...sleep will do that....I went to sleep fairly early for me...and the pain meds
allowed Michael to sleep...so he is feeling a bit rested today....
So BOTH of us are feeling better....They did take out one of the ingredients in his chemo cocktail...the
next 24 hours will tell us if that was what caused the problem....(process of elimination!) Monday we
go for an echo cardiogram....(to make sure everything is OK) and Tuesday is blood work day...Wednesday
there will be no chemo because Thursday is the specialist....
All we have to do till Monday is go pick up meds tomorrow....and RELAX!!!!!!!!
AH....CALGON take me away....(that is if your not to young to remember that!!)
allowed Michael to sleep...so he is feeling a bit rested today....
So BOTH of us are feeling better....They did take out one of the ingredients in his chemo cocktail...the
next 24 hours will tell us if that was what caused the problem....(process of elimination!) Monday we
go for an echo cardiogram....(to make sure everything is OK) and Tuesday is blood work day...Wednesday
there will be no chemo because Thursday is the specialist....
All we have to do till Monday is go pick up meds tomorrow....and RELAX!!!!!!!!
AH....CALGON take me away....(that is if your not to young to remember that!!)
All over the board....
I am home...waiting for Michael to finish his round of chemo...doing laundry...picking up...disinfecting...the usual fare that goes on here....But my emotions are all over the board....this past week has been really emotional...as Michael has been in a great deal of pain and insisted that I NOT call the Doctor even after I insisted to many times to count....After getting to the office today, and seeing several of the Docs...it was agreed on that he was experiencing pleurisy caused most likely by the chemo and the speed of the drip that they gave him (which was faster than usual) ...(I'll give you a short explanation at the end of this post of what pleurisy is)...and that by ALL MEANS they should of been called so that they could see him...give him pain meds...He explained that he did not call as it was the weekend and he did not want to go to the emergency room...I gently explained that he would not let me call...against my better judgement I honored his wishes...
But here is where my feelings went all over the board...EVERYONE (friends included) believe I did the WRONG THING...that I should of by passed his wishes and called anyhow...Making me feel inadequate as a caregiver...a wife...But what no one seems to understand is that if I did call (on a weekend when the office is closed) and they told me to get him to the emergency room...he would not go! And how do I get a grown man into the car by force???? How does one do that???? He is certainly at risk for infections...blood clots..
embolisms...and more because of the high dose of chemo....I KNOW THAT...HE KNOWS THAT....But exactly what was I suppose to do???????????????????? So right now my emotions are all over the board...
I am sad...I am disappointed...I am angry...and all I can do is cry....but I am not even sure why I am doing that.....
Pleurisy is an inflammation of the pleura. The pleura is a large, thin membrane that wraps around the outside of the lungs and lines the inside of the chest cavity. Between the layer of the pleura that wraps around the lungs and the layer that lines the chest cavity is a very thin space. This is called the pleural space. The pleural space is normally filled with a small amount of fluid. The fluid helps the two layers of the pleura glide smoothly past each other as the lungs breathe air in and out.
Pleurisy occurs when the two layers of the pleura become inflamed. Inflammation is a protective and healing process characterized by swelling, redness, heat, and pain. The inflamed pleural layers rub against each other every time the lungs expand to breathe in air. This can cause sharp pain with breathing.
But here is where my feelings went all over the board...EVERYONE (friends included) believe I did the WRONG THING...that I should of by passed his wishes and called anyhow...Making me feel inadequate as a caregiver...a wife...But what no one seems to understand is that if I did call (on a weekend when the office is closed) and they told me to get him to the emergency room...he would not go! And how do I get a grown man into the car by force???? How does one do that???? He is certainly at risk for infections...blood clots..
embolisms...and more because of the high dose of chemo....I KNOW THAT...HE KNOWS THAT....But exactly what was I suppose to do???????????????????? So right now my emotions are all over the board...
I am sad...I am disappointed...I am angry...and all I can do is cry....but I am not even sure why I am doing that.....
Pleurisy is an inflammation of the pleura. The pleura is a large, thin membrane that wraps around the outside of the lungs and lines the inside of the chest cavity. Between the layer of the pleura that wraps around the lungs and the layer that lines the chest cavity is a very thin space. This is called the pleural space. The pleural space is normally filled with a small amount of fluid. The fluid helps the two layers of the pleura glide smoothly past each other as the lungs breathe air in and out.
Pleurisy occurs when the two layers of the pleura become inflamed. Inflammation is a protective and healing process characterized by swelling, redness, heat, and pain. The inflamed pleural layers rub against each other every time the lungs expand to breathe in air. This can cause sharp pain with breathing.
Tough...
That would be the word I would use for this past week....Tough...Tough to watch...Tough to be a part of...Tough to witness...But, far less tough on me than on Michael....This past week the chemo has left him
virtually unable to do anything...unable to walk very well without being in extreme pain in his chest...unable to sleep...unable to eat...unable to find a comfortable spot...Michael rarely if ever complains...trying to make everyone else comfortable with humor...but this week there has been very little humor...I have seen him in severe pain...I have seen him cry...I have seen him swear (which he never does!) and I am left with not being able to do anything to take that pain away....Being a woman...a caregiver...a wife...I am accustomed to taking care of people...making sure that their needs are met...and this week I have not been able to do that...I can give him a hug when his tears come...I can assure him that people understand when he does not partake in events...I can kiss him on the head as I walk by his chair...I can cover him with a blanket when sleep finally does come...After writing this I see that I CAN be helpful with this CAN-cer....I CAN do things to make his soul comfortable...Perhaps I cannot take the pain away...but I CAN bring a peacefulness my putting my hand on his heart and connecting with him...
It has been a tough week....
virtually unable to do anything...unable to walk very well without being in extreme pain in his chest...unable to sleep...unable to eat...unable to find a comfortable spot...Michael rarely if ever complains...trying to make everyone else comfortable with humor...but this week there has been very little humor...I have seen him in severe pain...I have seen him cry...I have seen him swear (which he never does!) and I am left with not being able to do anything to take that pain away....Being a woman...a caregiver...a wife...I am accustomed to taking care of people...making sure that their needs are met...and this week I have not been able to do that...I can give him a hug when his tears come...I can assure him that people understand when he does not partake in events...I can kiss him on the head as I walk by his chair...I can cover him with a blanket when sleep finally does come...After writing this I see that I CAN be helpful with this CAN-cer....I CAN do things to make his soul comfortable...Perhaps I cannot take the pain away...but I CAN bring a peacefulness my putting my hand on his heart and connecting with him...
It has been a tough week....
I wish you enough...
I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.
I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them; but then an entire life to forget them.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.
I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them; but then an entire life to forget them.
TAKE TIME TO LIVE....
I WISH YOU ENOUGH.
Be Well...
Oh, the places you'll go!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!
The little love getting on the school bus for the very first time....SO EXCITING! The first day of school...
He will be attending a charter school and we are very blessed that he got into this school....Kindergarten is
a full day, so this will be all new to him....My...but they grow fast!
Cherish those you love!
Be Well...
Labor Day...
The last few days fall has been in the air...the wind has been cooler and the leaves are changing color...night
comes earlier and the sun rises later...shortening the days of summer...
I tend to like fall ...maybe because my birthday falls this time of year...but as I age I realize it becomes a time with the changing of seasons to allow myself to change...certainly change comes with warmer clothing, but lately I have been aware that change is also coming with my thoughts...my attitude...I have been very aware since we saw the specialist last week that I am slowing down...I am taking on more of Michael's attitude...I AM IN NO RUSH!!!!!!!!! Perhaps it is because I feel that the most difficult time is still before us...but today, I do not care...Today, I am resting...I am taking time just to enjoy this day...to spend time with those I love and give no thought to tomorrow...or the next day...as they do not matter at the moment...Today, I am allowing that change to take over...I am allowing myself time to witness this perfect moment...to this perfect day.
Happy Labor Day....Happy Fall....
Be Well...
comes earlier and the sun rises later...shortening the days of summer...
I tend to like fall ...maybe because my birthday falls this time of year...but as I age I realize it becomes a time with the changing of seasons to allow myself to change...certainly change comes with warmer clothing, but lately I have been aware that change is also coming with my thoughts...my attitude...I have been very aware since we saw the specialist last week that I am slowing down...I am taking on more of Michael's attitude...I AM IN NO RUSH!!!!!!!!! Perhaps it is because I feel that the most difficult time is still before us...but today, I do not care...Today, I am resting...I am taking time just to enjoy this day...to spend time with those I love and give no thought to tomorrow...or the next day...as they do not matter at the moment...Today, I am allowing that change to take over...I am allowing myself time to witness this perfect moment...to this perfect day.
Happy Labor Day....Happy Fall....
Be Well...
And then there were more...
We arrived at the Wilmont Cancer Center at 7:30 AM yesterday morning....filling out page after page after page
of information...did all the vital stats...and then 2 specialists arrived....going over everything that was on the page after page after page....and then....they informed us, after several hours of talking....and asking questions...that a consent form would have to be filled out for them to be able to get all the test results he has had over the past 2 years....all the pathology reports...everything having to do with this cancer....and then...a team of Doctors from the Wilmont Center will have a sit down "round table" discussion about the best way to proceed...
So we don't know anymore than we did the day before....We will continue with the chemo treatment that is currently being given...and will get the information from all the Wilmont Doctors on the 23rd of September...
So there it is....we remain where we are...getting through the next 3 weeks hopefully without any incidents...
of information...did all the vital stats...and then 2 specialists arrived....going over everything that was on the page after page after page....and then....they informed us, after several hours of talking....and asking questions...that a consent form would have to be filled out for them to be able to get all the test results he has had over the past 2 years....all the pathology reports...everything having to do with this cancer....and then...a team of Doctors from the Wilmont Center will have a sit down "round table" discussion about the best way to proceed...
So we don't know anymore than we did the day before....We will continue with the chemo treatment that is currently being given...and will get the information from all the Wilmont Doctors on the 23rd of September...
So there it is....we remain where we are...getting through the next 3 weeks hopefully without any incidents...
Seven Ways to Have a Good Day
1. Talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet.
2. Look at the sunny side of everything.
3. Think only of the best, work only for the best, and expect only the best.
4. Be as enthusiastic about success of others as you are about your own.
5. Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
6. Give everyone a smile.
7. Spend so much time improving yourself that you have no time left to criticize others. (Christian D Larsen)
Once again....THANK YOU!
Every evening I receive an E-mail from the Brave Girls Club...(you can sign up for it by clicking the link here)
Last night the mail really struck a cord with me...especially because I have been silent here this week...So I am going to share part of it with you here...
Thank you to all who have written here, and written me off line...who have sent the handmade cards, and books, who offer their hearts...for all the beautiful messages that touch my heart. The smile and the outstretched hand...
IT DOES MAKE A DIFFERENCE!
Be Well...
Last night the mail really struck a cord with me...especially because I have been silent here this week...So I am going to share part of it with you here...
"One kind person can make such a difference. One compassionate hand placed on a hand in distress can make such a difference. One phone call, one thank-you note, one sweet text message can make every bit of a difference. One job well done, one child rocked to sleep, one lunch packed, one single daisy given away can make such a difference.
One smile in the grocery store, one proclamation of forgiveness, one loaf of freshly baked bread, one handmade card, one offer to help can make such a huge difference.
It's the little things, gorgeous friend, that make the heroes. It's the one thing, after one thing, after one thing. It's that one person who makes the difference.
Be the one."
Thank you to all who have written here, and written me off line...who have sent the handmade cards, and books, who offer their hearts...for all the beautiful messages that touch my heart. The smile and the outstretched hand...
IT DOES MAKE A DIFFERENCE!
Be Well...
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