The bad and the good in a day...

Today was a DAY OFF for GOOD BEHAVIOR...or so I thought...I was still lounging in my pj's drinking yet another cup of coffee and painting in my studio when Michael came in and showed me his neck catheter...and there was blood coming out around the incision...The office was called
and they wanted him in right away...this catheter is a central line right to his heart...Once I quickly got dressed we were in the office by 11 AM....Then we were sent to the hospital where he was admitted as an out patient...they removed the catheter and then put a new one in...this is a permanent one...but we must also be very aware of the surrounding area of this one...When I tell you I had a difficult week...today was the one that I broke down on....I felt as if I could not take the responsibility of being the caregiver by myself...that I wanted to give it over...give it over to someone else for the day so I could of stayed in my pj's and drank coffee all day....but that feeling passed...I felt bad for thinking it...for saying some of it...I felt badly for speaking my truth....
But then I came home (after 3:00 ...so that means we were at the Doctors EVERY DAY THIS WEEK FOR AT LEAST 2 or more hours!)... I took a nap and opened up by E mail...and there amongst the mail was a note from a National Magazine saying that the purse my sister and I made and submitted was accepted for publication!! And they wanted a HOW TO MAKE THIS PURSE article ( you can see the tote here)....I have been published many times over the year...but this one HIT me....today...this is what I needed today! This one told me that my art heals me...this purse (or rather tote bag) that my sister and I made from my design was something I made for myself...from my mandalas and my affirmations... Something I can carry with me through the healing process of my soul... Something to remind me that my art heals my heart...my art nourishes my soul...my art holds me together and brings me great joy....I MUST remember to bring that love to myself....from myself....I must remember that I am important...I must remember to know that I have to honor who I am and what I love to do....ART HEALS....and this E mail brought that reminder running back to my soul after the bad of the day...