What day is it anyhow????

It is a good thing that I have a calendar on my wall in front of this machine...because I have noticed that I have NO IDEA what day it is lately...or the date!! My days seem to be labeled with Doctors appointments...and times rather than days of the week and dates....One just seems to flow into the next and before I know it another week has passed. There is a feeling of good and bad with this...
It is good because it means we are passing days...that things are still going along and Michael, although not getting that much better he is still here and we continue to live...
It is bad because we seem to be missing things...not being able to do some of the little things that we use to do together...getting ready for the holidays...going to the toy store to pick out Christmas gifts for the grandson...going to the movies...sharing the responsibilities of the house...He also talks less to me...Sometimes I wonder if I am a ghost here...non existent except to do the mundane things of providing meals and clean clothes....I watch sometimes as he interacts with the people at the clinic who have a connection with him...who are fighting for life...and I watch as a different person comes out...the person with the quick wit and sense of humor...that laughs and puts people at ease...but as soon as we leave there the silence comes back...his eyes close and he withdraws back into his private world of illness by himself. Even though I ask what I can do to make this different he is unaware that he is doing this...almost as if he is blocking me out in some ways...
So today, I will concentrate on the little things for myself that will help me along...I will make a list of the things I need for the Thanksgiving menu...I will make a list of the things I will make for Christmas gifts and I will start that list...I will make a list....and I will check it again...I will make my plans....I will ask questions of him and try to get him involved...I will remain as steady as I can...I will walk into this day filled with sunshine and a dusting of snow with a smile on my face knowing that today...(whatever day it is!! LOL) I did the best I could!